It's over
by Ocee
Summary: Jackson loves April. And April loves Jackson. They just need to say it. One day, they will... Spoiler S9 E6 E7 E11 E14 E17
1. Chapter 1

**Note** : Okay, here is the thing. I love Japril and after watching E6 S9, I was just awww :3 Poor Jackson, he is so cute. And so is April, not understanding what is going on. So I imagined an alternative scene and started to write it before watching the next episodes that could crash everything. But I didn't resist and watch it. And I won't tell anything about it for the moment but now I want to continue this fic to have what I want (even if I'm sure Japril will be, because they are made for each other, of course). So, I finished this OS in a different way that I thought at first and I hope I could find time to write about them again. I prefer checking the box "complete" if I didn't.

Oh, one last thing! You probably already realize but I'm French and I don't know how to write correctly in English. I don't know why but this fic came to me in English and I don't like my French version. It's probably because I'm watching this TV show in VOSTFR (yeah, I need some subtitles; it's weird that I wrote this thing in English, it may be full of crap XD).

So, be careful with your eyes. I'm sorry but I'm too enthusiastic about it and to lazy to look for a beta now so I decide to publish and I warn you so I can have peace of mind over your disappointment. All advice is welcome nevertheless.

Hope you'll enjoy it though!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Grey's Anatomy and I just write with its characters for pleasure without earning money. The last scene comes from this TV Show (Shonda Rhimes and ABC Studios ©)

**Warning: Spoiler S9 E6, this scene takes place b****efore the last one between April and Jackson…**  


* * *

**It's over**

"Stop! Just stop it, April! Please. I can't stand it anymore, it's… it's over."

"Wh… what?"

April stared at him, stunned. Also a little hurt. But not as much as he was, unfortunately, he thought. He hoped he was wrong of course, oh yeah he hoped… but she didn't seem to get it. Understand.

"It's over. This… Here is the thing. I used to be your friend, your best friend, and I miss that. I don't want to be just your sex toy. I'm not a sex toy, April."

"So… you don't want to have sex with me anymore?"

"No! I mean… not like that. We didn't even… Look. I care about you. I really care about you, April. And I cared before you and I had sex together. I loved the way we could talk together, how I could comfort you when you needed it or make you laugh too. I loved we were both confidants for each other. And I miss that. I miss our friendship. Because now, the only thing we make when we meet is… sleeping together. And it's awesome; it's really awesome I swear… until you spoil everything thinking about Jesus and how he may find our relation disgusting and how you regret it. And I can't stand it anymore, I'm sorry. I don't want this anymore. I've tried to, but I can't."

"But… then… you want… you and I to be friends… again?"

"Yeah..."

"Whereas we both agreed that we can't stand in the same place without…"

"There is one solution, April."

"… without sex?"

"Without sex for sex, yeah. I don't want to sleep with you again but… I want to make love with you. And I want to be your friend too. And you know what it means, April? You know how it's called?"

"Uh… a sex friend?"

"God, April! Your boyfriend! I want to be your boyfriend! Why is it so difficult for you to understand that?"

April stared at him, her eyes wide open, and slowly, the idea seemed to make its way until a little smile lighted up her face.

"My boyfriend?" she asked and he nodded, smiling at her in return.

"Your boyfriend," he confirmed.

With sparkles in her look, she began to move close to him, putting her hands on his chest.

"So it means that I'll be your girlfriend, right?" she whispered.

"Right," he confirmed again, barely breathing.

"And so we..."

At this moment, someone flung open the door and Jackson jumped sharply, his heart in panic.

"Come on Avery! We have an emergency on bloc 2, it's time to wake up, said Owen.

Looking around, Jackson realized that it was just a dream and tried to slow down his heart. _A dream. It was just a dream_, he forced him to move on, no without some bitterness.

_If only it could be true, however_, he could not help to think, closing his eyes in the same time. But this dream got a point. He could no longer shut his eyes to the situation. He had to do something. No matter how but… he had to tell her how he felt. Reveal his feelings.

**_(GA, S9 E6)_**

**_Jackson:_**_ All right, listen .._  
**_April:_**_ I'm sorry, ok? I'm sure that you'd prefer your booty calls to be uncomplicated and avoid feelings so I think you should probably seek them somewhere else, okay? 'Cause I know this is just sex to you and …_  
**_Jackson:_**_ It's not just sex. I mean I wish it was, I pretend that it is, 'cause you have a good thing going on with Jesus, but it's not._  
**_April:_**_ It's not?_  
**_Jackson:_**_ No. And stop calling me a car crash or a desert or acting like I'm bumming out Jesus._  
**_April:_**_ I'm sorry, you made it seem like it was._  
**_Jackson:_**_ And stop acting like I don't have any feelings, okay? I have feelings. I have a lot of them._  
**_April:_**_ About what?_  
**_Jackson:_**_ You. About you, April. For you._  
**_April:_**_ I'm … I'm so sorry that I hurt them, your feelings._  
**_Jackson:_**_ It's ok. Just …_  
**_April:_**_ I thought it was just sex._  
**_Jackson:_**_ Yeah .. So did I_


	2. Chapter 2

**Note : **merci beaucoup lila et Liann pour vos reviews ! Elles m'ont fait très plaisir :D

Contrary to the last time, the rest came to me in French and it was drabbles. It was very difficult to me to translate them and I'm sure it's far from great. And I have another chapter (after S9 E14), a classic one, but I don't think I can translate it because it's too long XD

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Grey's Anatomy and I just write with its characters for pleasure without earning money. The sentence in italic come from this TV Show (Shonda Rhimes and ABC Studios ©)

**Warning: Spoiler S9 E7 & E11**

* * *

_**Spoiler S9 E7**_

'_Not pregnant… Oh God ! Thank you Jesus ! Now we don't have to get married, we're free…'_

Broken.

His heart was breaking. Trampled by his joy. Crushed by her relief.

Relief... He should have been feeling relieved too, shouldn't he? Released? It was a release for her and he understood that. He understood and yet he suffered. From her happiness. From her indifference. From the link that was breaking.

This freedom that she celebrated, against all odds he realized he was not attached to it. He was to her. To them. So, while her heart was roaring with enthusiasm, its own was shouting his grief. In silence.

And when she finally realized that she was hurting him, it was too late.

It was over.

* * *

_**Spoiler S9 E11**_

'_I am… kinda spleeping with Stephanie…'_

Gone.  
A sentence and they were no more. Her hopes. Her unspoken dreams. Just went up in smoke.  
Now she had to take it on the chin. To breathe. Breathe. Resist the urge to cry. Repress the tears that came. Ignore these tingling that assailed her. This compassionate hand that he refrained from using. Spite of himself. Despite what they want again and again. Face what she had sown. She could only blame herself, couldn't she? So obsessed by her fears that she had forgotten they were both in the story.  
So, go ahead. Explain. Thank him. Yes, thank him. Do not forget how sweet and attentive he was.  
Was ...


	3. Chapter 3

**Note: **thank you so much for your reviews! I've answered directly to non-guests so I can do it for guests here: merci lila et Liann, je suis vraiment ravie que cette petite fic continue à vous plaire et j'espère que ça continuera :D

I was motivated by your reviews and I have to write at least 200 words each day for a challenge so I have tried to translate this chapter. I'm sure it's full of mistakes but I hope you like it anyway.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Grey's Anatomy and I just write with its characters for pleasure without earning money (Shonda Rhimes and ABC Studios ©).

**Warning: Spoiler S9 E14**

* * *

Jackson was about to get into their break room whose door was open when he noticed the presence of April. Sitting on the couch, she was writing a message on her cell phone and she ... she was beaming. So much so that even the pang in his heart that seized him - thinking that she was thanks to Matthew and not to him - was erased by the smile that lit up her face. She was happy, and that was enough to fill him. At least for now.

Not wanting to disturb her, he quietly turned back, a smile on his face. Yes, strange as it may seem, he was happy she was able to turn the page. Move on. Oh! Of course, seeing them kissing the first time had dealt to him a blow. But he soon realized that it was a good thing for her. For them. They had to go on living, to learn from what happened, start again on healthy bases. Become again the best friends they were, and ... then ... maybe... April might realize that they could be together in a different way. Maybe she would miss him enough to understand that their relationship was not as superficial as she had thought. Maybe she would miss him as much he missed her every day...

Meanwhile he had to keep his distance. Smile when she was talking about Matthew while he selfishly agonized with the idea that she wanted to take the leap with him. After all, it was perhaps necessary for her to really realize... And it's not as if he was entitled to blame her, he did not stop to enjoy it on his side. But imagining her with another, it was... it was just beyond his strength. And it could only torment her as it did with him, right? She couldn't betray her convictions with the first comer, as kind and attentive as he was - as he could notice despite himself. Typically the kind of guy she'd always dreamed of as a husband, he thought, clenching jaws.

"Jackson! Hey, Jackson!"

At the sound of her voice he forced himself to redisplay a smile and turned to her.

"April? What's going on?"

"Matthew was able to make time and will arrive from one minute to the next so we can take a break but I had completely forgotten the examination that I have to getting to this old Ms. Richardson, you know, the one who comes every year with an imaginary disease but who wants absolutely pass at least four or five tests otherwise she will stop giving significant sums to the hospital and...

"April!" he interrupted her, his eyes sparkling - he loved when she turned herself into a chatterbox like that. "Do you want me to take care of it?"

"That doesn't bother you?" she asked him with her little voice, biting her lower lip. "I know she adores you and since she can't stand new interns..."

"No problem, I 'll do it."

"Thank you," she whispered in his ear before she kissed him on the cheek.

At this time, Jackson saw Matthew to whom a nurse was indicating where was April. Their eyes met and Jackson could not help feeling some pleasure in the sight of the doubt that appeared on his face. So he decided to insist. He deliberately kissed back April's forehead and he made her laugh - advising her to enjoy her private meeting while he try to escape the proposals of a persistent and shameless grandmother.

After all, nothing prevented him from fighting for her and from showing Matthew that he was still in the race, even if April had no idea… for now...

* * *

"April?"

"Hmm ... Oh! Sorry, Matthew, I was lost in my thoughts ..."

"I see that. Nothing to worry about, I hope?"

April really looked at him for the first time since she had joined him and she felt guilty that he seemed anxious. And she felt even more guilty when she realized about what - or rather who - she was thinking while she was forsaking him. Jackson. Jackson again and again.

Yet, Matthew was really adorable. He was so attentive, he complimented her regularly, he was smart, cute and... sexy! He had everything to please her and she liked him. She recently had her head in the clouds thanks to him. Until the last minutes. Until she kissed Jackson on the cheek, without having premeditated it at all. Until her whole body vibrating on contact with him. The first contact they had since ...

"No! Pull yourself together April!" she ordered her. It was over. Jackson and her. Old story. They were and remain friends, nothing more. And Matthew deserved all her attention.

She forced a smile and, with a playful tone, apologized.

"Nothing serious! Just work, as usual ..."

Matthew smiled back shyly, nodding to show that he understood, but already April was not entirely focused on him and didn't notice the doubt creeping in him.


	4. Chapter 4

**Note: **thanks so much for your reviews! I stop my challenge of 200 word each day so I thought I was done with Japril – at least in English XD – but I want to write again about them after the 9x17 and now after the 9x19 so, because of/thanks to you I decided to translate my chapter 4 before writing my chapter 5 about the so perfect 9x19 episode.

I'm sure it's full of mistakes (I try to translate it even faster than the others XD) but I hope you like it anyway.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Grey's Anatomy and I just write with its characters for pleasure without earning money (Shonda Rhimes and ABC Studios ©).

**Warning: Spoiler S9 E17**

**Just after this episode…**

* * *

The day came to an end. Three in the morning. Jackson threw a last glance at the meeting room before turning off the light. He was exhausted. Emptied. But he smiled.  
He wanted to believe in it.  
Even if he had not requested and even if the decision of his mother had appeared to be a stab in the back, he would try. For Lexie. For Mark. For all those he cared about in this hospital. And for him too.

Leading hospital was not really in his plans. He, he wanted to be a surgeon, keep learning, to be the best to prove he could be and to pay tribute to Mark by surpassing him. But he wanted to do it here and he could not if the hospital couldn't survive. So he agreed to meet the challenge because his mother had let him no choice. But he did it for him, not for her, even though he knew that deep down, she thought to act for his own good.

He thought again about the discussion he had overheard between her and Chief Webber. He was really touched that he cared much for him. It gave him even more eager to get involved in this place he loved. He would do his best and he would not regret. Nevermind if he had to oppose his mother in the future, she had chosen him in purpose so that he can grow and earn in confidence, then he will.

Yes, he would do things his way, as he thought the fairest and if that does not work, so much the worse for her is that she was mistaken about him. He did not ask. But he was confident the others seemed to have understood the message: he did not intend to act against them, he was with them. Together they'll manage.

When he finally left the hospital, the biting cold did wince slightly, but he forced himself to think about the few well-deserved sleeping hours that awaited, at his warm home. With a decided step, he kept going his path but a sniff caught his attention. Someone was there, sitting on one of the benches located outside the hospital. He squinted to see the silhouette in the dark... this hair...

"April?"

She turned and tried to sneaked wipe her tears when she recognized him while trying to say in a neutral voice that derailed despite her will:

"Oh, Jackson! Still here?"

"Hey! Are you okay?" he worried at the same time he sat next to her.

"Yeah, everything is fine."

"April!" he lectured her, giving her one of his looks that would clearly say that he knew her and that she was a fool if she thought that she might succeed to make him swallow such a thing.

"It's just... you know... my patient, I knew him so... I just need a few minutes to... turn the page..."

"Yeah, I know..." he sympathized with a soft voice. "And about that, I'm sorry if ... I hope you don't blame me, I didn't want to force you to, you know... it's just..."

"Oh, no! Don't worry! You were right. The situation was crazy today... it was a good thing that it was me who did this. Congratulations, by the way. You made the right decisions, you can be proud of you. But I had no doubt, she assured him with a genuine smile."

"Really? Because, until it jumped out of my mouth all alone, I can swear you that I was pretty much scared there. I don't think I'm the man to do that, it's so…"

"Don't think! Believe in yourself and in what you decide and everything will be fine. You are gifted Jackson, and you're a good person. I have never doubted about that, you know? I know you've always suffered from comparison with your mom, but I swear you that you have no reason to worry. Just believe in yourself."

Touched by her confidence in him, Jackson felt his heart swell a little more for her, warmed by her words. He wanted to show her how grateful he was, he wanted to tell her that he does not think less of her, and how her words meant a lot for him. But he was too confused to make great speeches. So, he just blew her a grateful thank you, by fixing her intensely.

Their eyes riveted to each other, they estimated this moment of complicity, forgetting the cold and the time, forgetting their worries and the hell day that had just passed. As if, together, they were enough for each other to overcome everything. Together...

A phone ringing ripped them off their bubble and Jackson grumbled pulling his phone from his pocket. He cast a glance, hesitated a fraction of a second and put it back in place as if nothing had happened.

"Stephanie?" April asked.

"Yes... she asked me if I intend to join her."

"Don't let her wait too much so, it starts to get late."

"No, I'm too tired tonight. I'll just go to home."

"Okay, I will not delay you any longer then. Thank you for stopping you for me, it was good talking to you."

"Don't talk nonsense, April! As if I could pass my way... You're my best friend, right? Boss or not, I'll always be here for you, okay?"

"Yes, Chief!" she replied with a smirk that contaminated his own face.

To mark the occasion, he gave her a gentle hit on her shoulder. And then, after a few seconds of silence punctuated by their knowing smile, he asked:

"Are you going home, too?"

"Yeah, I would have to go. I just need to find the courage to get up."

Jackson smiled even more, rose and extended his hand.

"Ah! Ah! I knew you were in a hurry to get rid of me, you know, she replied in a funny tone by seizing his hand."

"And I've already told you not to tell nonsense. I'm going to take you home, of course! No way to let you go alone in this hour..."

"But you live almost at the other end of town! It's silly, you'll lose a lot of time."

"Never, when it's time spent with you."

April blushed and looked down while giving a slap on his arm. Then he handed it to her so she could cling to him, and both had a smile on their face when they took the home way. Together.


End file.
